I could probably dedicate an entire article to this here Kelsi Metzler, the undisputed flexible and sexy cheerleader of the Oregon squad. Luckily Sports Illustrated already took care of it. I’m curious. Do the cheerleaders from these colleges even have a clue what they do to the minds of men ages 25-85? I mean 60 years is a pretty big window but in the span of five minutes of watching these women my brain turns into complete squash. It’s incredible how I turn into a moron from watching a flexible leg.

Here’s the entire squad. You can even find out more about each member on their team page! I’m so excited! Yay Oregon! Exclamation point! What must it be like to be a dude on this squad? My theory is that 99% of guys on cheerleading teams have to be gay. They HAVE to be right? How is it possible for them not to be gay? The other one percent? Asexual. There’s no way I’m wrong here.

I’ll bet you guys didn’t know this about Miss. Metzler:

Hobbies/Activities: Spending time with my family and friends, traveling, working out, and reading when I have some free time.

Best/favorite part of being a duck cheerleader: The growth that takes place as an individual. You learn so much about yourself and so many important life lessons, you come out a much stronger person.

Future Plans: After graduating, I plan on attending graduate school and obtaining my Masters in Teaching in hopes of making a career out of taking on 4th and 5th graders. At some point, I would like to get married and start a family, enjoy life’s little blessings, and finish by traveling the world.

Isn’t that incredible?

I think I’ll be rooting for the Ducks from now on. Well, at least I’ll be rooting for more flexibility and Kelsi Metzler.

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It’s only fitting that we see breasts squeezed together and blond hair in San Diego. It just sounds about right doesn’t it? Things in San Diego are looking up lately. I guess Ladanian Tomlinson is finally getting his eyes off of Kylette and into the game a bit more. Is there any doubt that Merriman is still on the juice? Is there any doubt that Norv Turner’s acne and poor coaching skills come back to haunt him? Only time will tell. I’m not a tremendous fan of the NFL but these little vixens make it pretty tolerable.

“Stop looking at my butt! Oh my God!” Is there any doubt that she’s looking at her boyfriend or someone of that stature in the sidelines? Here’s what you don’t know Mr. Boyfriend. What she’s really thinking is “oh my God you have no idea how many guys I’ve banged on this team do you?” I wonder what the stats are on that. Players to Cheerleader’s Screwed. I have no clue but I’d imagine that each NFL player has probably had sex with on average 2-4 cheerleaders in their lifetimes.

Those stomachs are almost too flat and too muscular. I pretty much would like to have a stomach like that. If that’s the case and I’m a guy then there’s something a little too masculine about it thus making it a bit weird to be seen on a woman. Even so though, I’m sure the firmness of those abs would make for better squeezing ability and thus make for better sexual prowess. Can you imagine one of these girls on top of you? I can. I will and I will continue to do so.

Gooooooooooooooooo Ribs!

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There’s plenty to smile about down in Orlando this year. The Magic are absolutely tearing it up in the east, Dwight Howard is a disturbingly freakish specimen, Stan Van Gundy is doing his best impersonation of “The Hedghog” (Ron Jeremy for all of you porn buffs out there), and Rashard Lewis is draining three’s. This leads me to my next statement. The Knicks flat out suck. Oddly enough, individually I’d certainly prefer the talents of a Zach Randolph or Eddy Curry above that of a Hedo Turkoglu, who by the way is a fantasy monster this year, and yet you put them both on the same court and they are absolute doo doo. I just don’t get it. Well, maybe I do…

Um. Tushy. Yes Tushy. I love that the NBA is really letting these lovely photos into their website. I simply can’t get enough of this Orlando Magic Dancing Squad.You know that Stan Van Gundy AKA Ron Jeremy is licking his chops from the sidelines. I found myself trying to lick my balls after seeing these pictures. Go figure.

Black boots. Is there even a chance you wouldn’t want those boots on during coitus with one of these women? I didn’t think so. So let’s talk about Hedo Turkoglu for a second. He’s really scary looking. OK that’s all I really wanted to say about him. Jameer Nelson is finally looking like a young Damon Stoudamire out there. He’s very Mighty Mouse Esque. Isiah Thomas hasn’t yelled once this year except at a black woman he was trying to coerce into sex.

What the fuck is that Mascot? Seriously what in the world do you call that thing? Well I guarantee you when they finished this shoot no matter what that thing is couldn’t hide it’s erection.

She is a MUCH better player than Stephon Marbury.

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Folks I’m not sure if we’ve hit a new high or a new low in sports. These ladies are cheerleaders for the South African Nashua Titans. In case you didn’t know, which I’d hope you did not, the Nashua Titans are a Cricket team. That’s right, Cricket. I personally think it’s a new high in sports rather than a low. If you don’t believe me, the team has its own website and a ridiculous sized stadium. This is living proof that cheerleading is not only growing but it’s becoming a necessary part of the morale for human beings. Think about it. If you could have your own cheerleaders following you around cheering at every wise decision you made wouldn’t you? Imagine being in a grocery store, picking skim milk instead of whole and 8 hot girls spread their legs in the air, tits in your face cheering “yay skim milk!” That, ladies and gentlemen is my utopia. I think Nashua is thinking along the same lines.

Look how nasty the second to the left one is. I’ll bet you 100 bucks that at some point during sex she’s use the word “spunk.” If you are a cheerleader for the Nashua Titans, what happened to you? Did you fail at making the rugby team dance squad? Were the teams all filled up for soccer? Can you even comprehend how trashed these girls must get on a daily basis? I’ll bet you they cheer their hearts out while taking shots with the cricket club. You know they are just dying to do the cheers they just couldn’t do at the football games. I hope to make it to Nashua to cheer these cheerers on.

Cricket, Football, Basketball, Soccer, Rugby. When you’ve got an ass like that it’s always worth attending the games. Jesus it practically looks like her top is unraveling. Is she holding some sort of Cricket device? I’m really running out of dialogue here. I’ll say it one last time. The South African Nashua Titans Cricket Team Cheerleaders. Wow. Photos submitted by ftbester.

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